Nov. 10th, 2020

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The late feminist Mary Wollstonecraft has added her voice to the call to tear down statues of historical figures.

The writer and Mary Shelley creator joined the cause when she saw today's Guardian.

"This is all wrong," she said. "We shouldn't celebrate people who were slave owners, or misogynists, or who stood on top of a Mr Whippy."

This comes after a summer in which many titans of history have had their reputations called into question. "We may be right in celebrating Winston Churchill's efforts against fascism," Wollstonecraft continued, "but when we learn that he stood buck naked in a park, covered in silver paint and sporting a big old minge, we knew it was time to draw the line."

But others spoke out in defence of retaining such statues, such as the loser and friend to losers Nigel Farage. "Great living women are usually immortalised on page three of The Sun," he said. "This is little different to that, though they're usually at least a C-cup."

When asked for comment, Cristiano Ronaldo simply said, "FINALLY."

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