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Rishi Sunak Defects To Labour Party
May. 16th, 2024 08:24 pmThe Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has announced that he is taking up the Labour whip, becoming the latest in a long line of Tory defectors.
The defection took place immediately before Prime Minister's Questions when the House of Commons was stunned to see the Prime Minister take a seat right at the back on the left, my left not your left, in-between the Liberal Democrat MP Sarah Camwhore and the Scottish Nationalist Rip Supergran.
When asked why he had taken this move, the Prime Minister began by saying that in addition to his duties in the house he had had meetings with ministerial colleagues and others, and that he would have further such meeting later in the day. That entirely pointless piece of boiler plate nonsense uttered, he was then asked much the same thing again, and this time he also didn't give a proper answer but without excuse. "I think you'll find my views are not dissimilar from current Labour party policy," we think he said. He was quite far from the microphone.
It was then the turn of opposition leader Kier Starmer to ask the first of his questions. "Is the Prime Minister not embarrassed at how many high profile Tories are defecting to Labour?" he asked, to much mirth from his own backbenches, including Rishi Sunak. Sunak then ran down to the dispatch box on his little legs to parry the attack.
"I don't think this latest defection is a great loss," he said. "Rishi Sunak after all was behind Eat Out To Kill Nans, which only Suella Braverman thought was a good idea and even then only when brown people died." He then scurried back to the opposition benches to await the next salvo.
"Isn't it true that the Prime Minister is only defecting now because the writing is on the wall and he expects to lose his seat in the next general election?" asked Starmer.
When Sunak had returned to the despatch box, a little out of breath, he responded: "He asks about writing on walls, why don't the Labour party tell us their policy on graffiti? We on this side have a plan, but they have no plan at all!" He then cross the floor again, jeering at himself and shouting that he never gave a straight answer, to much support from his fellow Labour MPs.
Starmer gave his final question. "His former party are leaderless again, surely now is the time to call a general election!" This provoked much uproar from the house, including new Labour MP Rishi Sunak who shouted "Yes, call a general election, you coward!"
The Prime Minister returned to the despatch box and took a large drink of water. "The public don't want a general election, they want us to get on with the people's priorities, which are getting inflation to where it was before we put it up, cleaning up the rivers that we pumped shit in, building hospitals to replace the ones we closed, putting our fingers in our ears to make trans people go away, and bopping the stoats." He then collapsed from exhaustion.
When asked what effect this would have on economic stability, "Still not as nutty as when Liz Truss was in charge," was the response of the Financial Markets.
The defection took place immediately before Prime Minister's Questions when the House of Commons was stunned to see the Prime Minister take a seat right at the back on the left, my left not your left, in-between the Liberal Democrat MP Sarah Camwhore and the Scottish Nationalist Rip Supergran.
When asked why he had taken this move, the Prime Minister began by saying that in addition to his duties in the house he had had meetings with ministerial colleagues and others, and that he would have further such meeting later in the day. That entirely pointless piece of boiler plate nonsense uttered, he was then asked much the same thing again, and this time he also didn't give a proper answer but without excuse. "I think you'll find my views are not dissimilar from current Labour party policy," we think he said. He was quite far from the microphone.
It was then the turn of opposition leader Kier Starmer to ask the first of his questions. "Is the Prime Minister not embarrassed at how many high profile Tories are defecting to Labour?" he asked, to much mirth from his own backbenches, including Rishi Sunak. Sunak then ran down to the dispatch box on his little legs to parry the attack.
"I don't think this latest defection is a great loss," he said. "Rishi Sunak after all was behind Eat Out To Kill Nans, which only Suella Braverman thought was a good idea and even then only when brown people died." He then scurried back to the opposition benches to await the next salvo.
"Isn't it true that the Prime Minister is only defecting now because the writing is on the wall and he expects to lose his seat in the next general election?" asked Starmer.
When Sunak had returned to the despatch box, a little out of breath, he responded: "He asks about writing on walls, why don't the Labour party tell us their policy on graffiti? We on this side have a plan, but they have no plan at all!" He then cross the floor again, jeering at himself and shouting that he never gave a straight answer, to much support from his fellow Labour MPs.
Starmer gave his final question. "His former party are leaderless again, surely now is the time to call a general election!" This provoked much uproar from the house, including new Labour MP Rishi Sunak who shouted "Yes, call a general election, you coward!"
The Prime Minister returned to the despatch box and took a large drink of water. "The public don't want a general election, they want us to get on with the people's priorities, which are getting inflation to where it was before we put it up, cleaning up the rivers that we pumped shit in, building hospitals to replace the ones we closed, putting our fingers in our ears to make trans people go away, and bopping the stoats." He then collapsed from exhaustion.
When asked what effect this would have on economic stability, "Still not as nutty as when Liz Truss was in charge," was the response of the Financial Markets.
