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[personal profile] peeeeeeet
Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons, has announced that all robots under his command are gay.

The announcement follows months of speculation and rumour. The Decepticons - widely seen as the more evil of the two Transformer factions - have been accused of various feats of wrong-doing, and this is usually a prelude to a public coming out.

Individual Decepticons have made such announcements before. Scourge, a futuristic hovercraft who transforms into Kevin Spacey, was the first to come out following accusations of assault. More recently Laserbeak, the condor spy, also came out as queer after fans of Ballroom questioned her commitment to the underground cultural phenomenon. "What does a cassette tape know about Vogueing?" asked penny racer and prominent house mother Bumblebee. "Girlfriend your exhausts aren't even attached in bird-mode!"

The latest to make the announcement is traitorous jet and coveter of the Underbase Philip Starscream, who has been accused in recent months of bitter feuds with his colleagues. Now Megatron has held a press conference putting further rumours to rest, stating that if a Decepticon did something bad, then yes that Decepticon is gay.

"Crippling the brilliant scientist Josie Beller? Gay. Plundering the Earth's resources to craft Energon Cubes? Gay. Doing whatever we do in the Michael Bay movies, I don't know, I only watched the first one? Totally gay," he said to assembled reporters. "Ratbat? Gay. Soundwave? Gay. Scorponok? Are you kidding me? Take a look at that gym bunny's glistening abs and tell me he's doing that for the ladies."

"Also there's only one woman Transformer and she's an Autobot," he added with a shrug.

Date: 2020-02-08 03:45 am (UTC)
prof_pangaea: the master (Default)
From: [personal profile] prof_pangaea
i only partly understand this because of my almost complete non-knowledge of transformers but i can still tell this is exquisite. thank you

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